Trippin' on Claritin

HA! now that I have gotten your attention. Can you imagine what would happen if someone Googles that particular phrase and ends up here. Not the trippin' they are looking for perhaps. No "how to" manual here my friend! Just me and my weird obsession with telling you about what goes on here at the nut house.

Something around here is blooming and trying to destroy my peace and happiness. I don't know what it is but if I could figure it out then it would be RoundUp time I can tell you. Stuffy nose, watery eyes, sneezing. I'm not contagious but sure wish I was so that I could share this lovely feeling with others. The more the merrier I always say.

So I finally gave in, after three days of outrageous suffering, and took a Claritin. I really hate those things, I really do. But it was either that or continue to sneeze, sniffle and generally sound awful. With H1N1 flu hanging around people give you dirty looks and back up in line at the grocery store when you stand there and honk into a tissue. Whenever I blow my nose HHBL asks if the circus is in town. Thanks honey, I love you too.

Of course, there was no escaping the checker in Walmart who blew her nose into a piece of paper towel and then went back to scanning my groceries. I stood there in disbelief. What, no hand sanitizer, no excuse me while I wash my hands? She just started right back in to touch my produce. Can you say EWWWWWWW! But I digress.

Anyways, when I took the Claritin I knew what I was in store for.......my own version of the 1960's "trip" with Timothy Leary. And by that I don't mean going to the beach for a day to soak up the sun. I wish. I know that the package says "non-drowsy" and that is for the most part true. It is just that those things put a general, happy, detached glow to my day that I really don't want. I like to be in touch with reality. That is why I don't color my hair, I like reality (and I am lazy). That is why I would never make a good alcoholic or drug addict, I have to have control of my surroundings. I do understand why people might like the feeling, I had Demerol in the ER and all I can say is, "MAN!" but still. I like to be in control and that stuff makes me so not.

But, the WORST part about the Claritin is the trippy dreams that I have for the first 2-3 days. Man, oh man do I hate going to bed after taking one of those innocent little white pills. And those of you who know me know how much I LOVE getting into bed at night. Settling down into the covers, under my magic Chinese silk filled comforter that HHBL brought back for me from China, fluffing up the pillows and sinking into dream land. But.Not.With.Claritin.

No with Claritin it is all waking up every hour, restlessness, weird trippy dreams and general disruption of my all important beauty sleep - which I shouldn't miss ANY of because I can use all the help I can get at this stage. My legs take on a life of their own and I flop around in bed like a large, flabby fish in the bottom of a boat.

I remember writing this entire blog post during the night in my head, only it had a lot more swirling colors and cool sitar music attached to it. And then of course, I also had a hot flash episode in the middle of all the trippiness. It just kept getting better and better I tell you. Especially since every time I looked over, there was HHBL just sleeping away, snoring in that cute way of his. It was just adding pain to the already painful night.

If I can just guts it out for another night or two I should be back to normal. Well, as normal as I ever am......which isn't very.