Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

We Corrupted the Missionary!!

The annual ornament bloodbath stealathon exchange has come and gone and we all survived with happy feelings intact.

Actually, my group of friends know what to expect by now and in the yearly recitation of the “rules” make it clear. Have I ever actually explained the rules for this bloody contest of ornament wills? 

1. Any given ornament can be stolen ONLY twice. The third owner of the ornament is the final owner of the ornament.

2. #1 opens a wrapped ornament from under the tree. Participant #2 can either open a wrapped ornament……or they can steal #1’s ornament. If this happens then #1 opens another wrapped ornament because…..

3. You may NOT steal back an ornament that is stolen from you.

4. You work through all the #’s with people opening a wrapped ornament or “liberating” an ornament from someone else. When all ornaments are accounted for then #1 has a decision to make. If she is satisfied with her ornament then the exchange is done. If she chooses though, she can exchange her ornament for one of her choosing from someone else. And then the game ends.

5. You may not unwrap OR steal the ornament that you brought. If you liked it that much you should have bought two.

6. The Hope and Heather Rule: There will be no collusion between participants on the getting and retention of ornaments. We could also call this the Dottie and Carolyn rule if we so choose.

7. And last but really most important. DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO YOUR ORNAMENT UNTIL THE END OF THE GAME OR IF YOU ARE THE THIRD OWNER OF THE ORNAMENT.

And now on to the show.


We start the evening with food….lots of food. I always make enough to feed everyone and then many people bring things. Some year I should just not make anything, we would still have enough food! The first couple of years we ornamented first and then ate but the whole things works better if you go at the thievery with full bellies.


 Oooooo. Ahhhhhh. And the exchange begins. This year Hope was first and Heather was second. 


 Sue opened a lovely golden bell.






Lynelle promptly stole the bell from Sue. These women have known each other for many years. We have been in a small group together for 20 years………

On this one night of the year that has no bearing on our behavior.



 Can you see the pleading look on Dottie’s face when Kelly sauntered over to check out the absolutely adorable deer head ornament.

Amazingly it worked and Kelly went on to acquire another ornament and Dottie was able to keep the deer head….for a while.




Laura had absolutely NO scruples about stealing the ornament from the OCTAGENARIAN MISSIONARY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!

Aunt Virginia was actually new to the exchange. She came with her niece, Sue. I have known Aunt V for many years and have come to love her very (like the Sahara) dry sense of humor. I think she might scare some people, but not me…..much.




And so Aunt Virginia stole the deer head from Dottie.

Aunt Virginia might have been an Ornament Exchange Virgin….but that didn’t stop her from making her way, with her cane (she has a broken foot), over to Dottie and very politely but firmly stealing that ornament without a moment of hesitation or remorse.

WE HAVE CORRUPTED THE MISSIONARY! WE ARE ALL DOOMED.



I have known Sue for over 20 years. I do not think I have EVER seen her laugh that hard.



But Aunt V didn’t keep it for long. The deer head now has a place of honor in Michelle’s kitchen.
Michelle apologized the entire time that she was stealing the ornament from Aunt V.

But she did it anyway.



HHBL just likes to sit on the stairs like a child out of bed after hours and watch all the goings on. He seems to think that we are LOUD or something.



Dottie’s next very cute ornament.

She didn’t go home with this one either.

About this time I stopped taking pictures. It might have been because I was laughing so hard.

And so we came to the end of the evening. I think everyone went home with something they liked.
And I finally got my house cleaned up.

Until next year.

Monday, December 7, 2015

No Ornament Is Safe

It’s that time of year again! The first Monday in December……

The Ornament Exchange.

Really, I should start thinking about this thing earlier in the year than I do. Oh, I have grand and glorious plans about having the ornaments that I give to everyone who walks in the door all done by Labor Day.

I think about it a lot.

But it never really happens.

The ornament muse just doesn’t get ramped up like Lake Effect snow until it gets cold enough to feel like Santa is Coming.

Sorry, I just finished listening to Justin Bieber’s “Santa is Coming” and now I can’t get it out of my head. Curses!

Where was I? Oh yes, The Ornament Exchange. Sometimes I feel that it would just be easier to go out and buy 20+ of the same cute ornament and be done with the whole crazy business. But NOOOOOO, I have to come up with a unique concept every year. Darn my little creative hide. I just can’t do it. I have to make something. And lest you think it is easy breezy…….

Well, if you think that then I have to think that you are not the sort of person that comes up with crafty ideas in the middle of the night and has to creep into the bathroom to write them down.

Not that I would know anything about THAT.

This is how it goes.

September: I really should start thinking about that ornament. Knit? Craft? Snowman? Santa? Other? I have PLENTY of time.

October: You know, the Ornament Exchange is like two months away. I really should get started on them…..tomorrow.

November (somewhere around the middle of the month): Oh SHIT! I have got to put my thinking cap on and get something down on paper.

It wasn’t until mid-November this year that I started working on the idea that became the thought that moved onto the prototype that finally became the ornament.

Yes, there are prototypes of the ornament. It is a straight out of my head, thought up from scratch thing (or adapted from something I saw). This year there were two, or perhaps three, variations before I got to the final product. Have you ever seen the movie “Alien Resurrection?” You know the scene where they find the lab with all the various mutations of Ripley after they have figured out how to extract her DNA from the liquid metal that she threw herself into in Alien 3 as the alien was bursting out of her chest?

No?

Hmmmmmmm, well, it is sort of like that only not quite as gory and bloody and nobody gets eaten…..generally.

This is the 15th year for The Ornament Exchange. That means that there should be 15 unique ornaments hanging about somewhere. I was going to show them all to you…..but I still have things to do before people start showing up. But I will show you the ornament for this year.

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Hope, you can look cuz you have to go to that pesky school board meeting. I will send yours home with Heather.

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Lauren…..don’t peak.

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

2015-12-07 12.38.29

Somehow, a Snowball that looks like it is in the middle of a proctology exam just seems to fit with my crazy brain.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Add It To The Collection

It’s that day of the year again.

The day where, here at Chez Knit, there is much food and laughter and stealing of the most generous and gentile and kind sort…..

You didn’t really BELIEVE that last part did you? If you did then you must be new here.

Stealing, especially of the Christmas ornament kind, is not all that kind around here. It is rather ruthless if truth be told.

Let’s walk down memory lane shall we….

Stealing and Colusion

Heather Stole My Ornament….Again

Ornament Stealage Extraordinaire

We Need The Ornament Police!

Grand Theft Ornament

And so we come again to that time of year when I have to put my little artsy cap on and think of an ornament that I can produce and then give to all who come to this crazed house of Christmas cheer. And every year I think I am not going to get all of them done. I start thinking about them in September…and then I forget. I remember again sometime around the first part of October…and maybe start on them. Then around the middle of October I start to panic because I know that if I am not fully into ornament production by November 1 then I am in a deep pile of steaming doo doo.

This year…….I was done BEFORE Thanksgiving. All done. All tagged. All wrapped. I am sitting here in a nice haze of self congratulations because I wasn’t up til the wee hours yesterday trying to get them done. Don’t laugh….it has happened before.

And so, as you do every year, I am going to give you a sneak peak.

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

These things are so stinking cute.

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Hope and Lauren, if you are here and peaking you need to stop right now.

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

Red heart

2014-12-01 16.52.32

If I recover tomorrow I will tell you ALL about it.