Saturday, August 8, 2009

Here Comes the Almost Brides

Josh, if you happen to be reading this all the way from India then you need to stop right now.

Now that the disclaimer has been disclaimed, lets get on to the pictures shall we, and I really should warn you that there are A LOT of pictures (notice that I capitalized and underlined, I have finally figured out how to do that in Html). You have been warned.

In a little less that 10 months I will be a mother of the bride. Does that strike fear into your heart because it surely does mine. I like to tell myself that I was a child bride and that I had The Engaged One when I was a mere slip of a girl....and then I look at myself in the mirror and I just can't keep lying to myself. Sigh.

Here are the brides. They have been joined at the hip since they were 7 years old, they are getting married within a month of each other and they are sharing just about the same bridesmaids. Of course they would go wedding dress shopping together. It helps that their moms are really good friends too.

We went on this expedition with a car load of girls. Don't count how many because we might possibly have exceeded the seat belt limit. But going in two cars just wasn't going to be as much fun for them and besides I would have had to drive one of the cars and then I couldn't have chatted with Sue.

These are dresses on the "mother of the bride" rack. I will be avoiding these at all costs. I have already told The Engaged One (whose blog name will have to be changed eventually) that I will be wearing red high heeled shoes (Shoe Queen was happy about that) but she has made me promise that I will not wear a red dress as well. Party Pooper.

HooBoy, look at all the dresses. Miles and miles of dresses. The ULTIMATE dress up party if you ask me and they can try on as many as they want and we have about a GAZILLION dress stores to go to.....this is going to be a long day I can tell you.

If the particular dress that you are trying on is a tad large they have a very sophisticated way of fitting the dress. Hmmmm, what? Those look like clamps from Home Depot? Weeeeeeeeeel, I suppose that they do but I choose to think of them as sophisticated, temporary tailoring devises because, you know, some of these dresses cost the equivilent of 6 months of our food/household budget. Leave me some illusions in this whole process please.

It is SOOOOOOOO hard to be a bridesmaid. You have to lift heavy dresses and decide which one will look good and if you can wear it to another function. Luckily The Engaged One and Miss Alison both have decided that the bridesmaid dresses should be multifunctional, able to be worn without shudders, at other functions down the road. Unlike any bridesmaid dress that I ever had to wear mind you. There were some fairly hideous ones.....Susan (I know you are reading this), the dress you made me wear in that peach color was interesting to say the least.

What? You think the mother of the bride is supposed to be helping to pick out dresses and helping the bride to put on dresses and guiding the bride in the right (and FRUGAL) picking of the dress? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You people are really funny. I have that honkin' big camera I might remind you and there is no way I am not going to be snapping every picture that I can. I sort of look like demented Siamese Twins both snapping pictures with a Canon Rebel Xsi.

Awwwwww, doesn't Miss Alison look beautiful!

How much does that dress cost?!?

Awwwwwwww, aren't they just the prettiest things!

The aftermath

"Mommy, why is that woman taking a picture of her sandwich and glass of FREE water?"

"Don't look honey, just take your sandwich and sit over there at the other side of the food court. Don't let her see you looking at her, you never know what might set that kind of person off!"

O Lord, how long will the torture last. When will the last acceptable dress be tried on and analyzed and commented on and photographed and looked at from all angles. My brain cells are dying at an accelerated rate and I don't have that many to begin with. Put me out of my misery. PLEASE.

WOW, now those are beautiful brides worth waiting for. Josh and Brendon are lucky young men. And just to let you know, NEITHER ONE of these dresses are "The One".

Finally we are done! Lets get out of here. Oh, you mean we have to take the dresses off before we go? Party Poopers.

I have to be honest. I went home and had a large, restorative glass of red wine. For some reason they wouldn't let me have red wine at the wedding dress store. I didn't understand why.


  1. As further preparation for the big event . . . we recommend you again view the classic Steve Martin 1991 film "Father of the Bride," and consider hiring a planner named Franck.

  2. It is a thought. HHBL has already been reminded once that he should not emulate George Banks.

  3. Dad is so much like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride that it scares me. Seriously.

    I had an idea of the kind of dress that Meg would pick, and I am happy to say that I was very, very close.

  4. I'm DYING to know what Megan's dress looks like now! She's going to be a gorgeous bride!

    Oh, and that dress her friend Allison had on was breathtaking!! (Oh, to be that skinny.) She's going to be a beautiful bride as well. BOTH grooms are going to be blown away when they see their brides at the end of the isle.

  5. HHBL is not George Banks! I know that for a fact.

  6. Now that looked like FUN!! What an exciting time! I loved all your photos. And the sandwich. I really wanted that sandwich...

  7. How fun!! I only tried on like 4 dresses. We got the bridesmaid dressed from Ann Taylor and they were beautiful! My bridesmaids looked smokin hot.

  8. OMG how fun! Now that's how it was supposed to be. My dress shopping was a disaster where my bridemaids all chose a favorite dress that wasn't even one of the 2 options I asked them to help me with. It was a total disaster... I haven't even been able to post about it :)


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