Thursday, June 30, 2016

That Is a Bad Sound

Do you know what this is? Take a good look at it.
It is at the base of the tree outside of our bedroom windows, nestled right in my Impatiens. By the way, this picture was taken a week ago.

It is a bunny nest. Dang it. I will say that this was Mommy Bunny's second choice as a place to whelp the litter. Is whelp the correct term for this? Oh my gosh, I just Googled this and you can call them a litter or a Kindle. Does Amazon know that? There may actually be crosswalks here because I can tell you that my Kindle books do seem to breed like rabbits.

Now that was an interesting digression. Back to the bunnies. Second choice to give birth. Right.

I looked out one day and realized that there was a rabbit sitting in the middle of one of my planter boxes. That made me very unhappy. But I was confused (not an unknown occurrence with me) because she was just sort of sitting in the box. She wasn't eating anything just sitting contemplating her kingdom, which wasn't really surprising because she had parked her furry bunny bahookie right in amongst the jalapeño plants. As we have seen, even the deer don't like those. I did tell you about that didn't I? How the deer tried to eat my newly planted jalapeño plants but succeeded in just pulling them up and then spitting them out on the ground. Well if I didn't tell you then that is what happened. I slammed open the sliding glass door and chased the bunny away and took a look at the damage. She hadn't eaten anything but she had begun to excavate in the box.

Oh now that CAN'T be good.

But she was gone, leaving in her wake one uprooted pepper plant that had already been damaged in the Great Jalapeño Deer Debacle of 2016 so it wasn't a huge loss. I moved the dirt back where it was supposed to be and went on with my day.... And she was back by evening, sitting amongst my pepper plants, contemplating her universe. We had words and I said she couldn't stay and she left in a flurry of bunny huff and I put a big old pot in the middle of her excavations so she couldn't come back. That seemed to fix the issue....or so I thought...until a day or so later when I walked out to the front of Chez Knit to water my impatiens around the tree and found that she had excavated a hole, right at the base of the tree, deep enough to see China. Crap. I did think about just filling the hole in but we had guests coming to visit and it just slid to the back of my mind as slick and quiet as the 10th plague of Egypt from The Ten Commandments. The next time that I checked that hole, it had been carefully covered with grass until you wouldn't even know it was there.

My bunny wrangling window of opportunity had closed and I had missed the round up. Sorry, we watched Open Range recently and I am still in cowboy mode.

I wasn't completely sure that there were babies in there until June 21 when, as I was watering the plants around the supposed bunny obstetrical unit, I mistakenly poured some water over the dried grass and disturbed whatever was in there. I had just finished reading Justin Cronin's third book in his Passage Trilogy, The City of Mirrors, and I had a fleeting thought that when the ground started to move there would be virals pouring out any minute. Did I tell you that I have a vivid imagination.

So, the bunnies are there, although we haven't seen them. I wasn't happy about this blessed bunny event but even I am not heartless enough to invade the nest and get rid of the bunnies. I thought about it for a nano second and realized that I just couldn't do it.

But the raccoon had no such sentiments.

Last night HHBL and I were just settling down to our too short night's sleep after an abortive attempt to see a concert at Blossom Music Center (I will tell you about that fun time another day, after I am less angry). I was just sliding into slumber when:

 HHBL: What was that?  

Me: Whaaaaa. Ididnhearanythingiwassleeping. Zzzzzzzzzzzz

A bit of time passes and then the bed shakes violently and

 HHBL: What was that? Did you hear that? It sounded like something is outside. (Gets up and looks out window). There is something out there. I think it might be the bunnies. There is something on the front step. I think it IS the bunnies.

 Me: Oh for the LOVE! So, we both get out of bed, go to the front door, open said door and go out onto the front step. Even with the light thrown out by the million candle watt street light I can't see what is going on under the tree but it looks like there might have been a change in aspect ratio. I go back to get one of my bazillion flashlights (I am my father's daughter after all) and tramp back out to the front my jammies....with my sleeping mask up on my forehead.
This is the sleep mask, and me doing my pouty Kim Kardashian thing. I look more like a bug but whatever. See how well YOU take a selfie when you can't see what you are doing. I have that thing shoved up on my forehead, my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and I am out on the porch shining a flashlight at the bunnies nest when.......

SHITBALLS! (oops, sorry but that is what I said) Something runs out from beside the porch and I think briefly about changing my undies when I get back inside. I had time to register that it was a raccoon and it had something in it's mouth before it was across the street and into the woods.

 Oh dear.

But, after checking and moving some of the bunny camouflage around we determined that there was still life in the bunny abode. I covered everything back up and went back inside, climbed into bed, settled the eye mask back in place and started to slide into dreamland when....

I heard the bunnies screaming. 

That is really the only way I can describe the sound, bunnies screaming. We leaped from our place of not very resting and rushed back outside, eye mask on forehead, to see the raccoon dashing back across the street and into the woods. I couldn't see if he had anything in his mouth, I didn't really want to know, but it didn't look like the nest had been disturbed too much. My guess is that he stuck his little raccoony hands down in there and went fishing for bunnies. But the problem was, we were not inclined to continue with the whole Jack in the box, up and out the door thing for the whole night every time Mr. Raccoon came back to the bunny fishing hole. And I was willing to "let nature take it's course", so to speak. I am not going to kill a nest of bunnies but nor am I going to prevent Mr. Raccoon from bunny fishing. If that upsets you, well, you can come and fill in the gigantic hole that she dug and then hope that she didn't damage the tree and that Ma Bunny and the Bunnalettes don't eat any of my flowers.

We went back inside and I closed the window. I just didn't want to hear what went on. In the morning the nest was still there although it looked a bit on the disturbed side but I could tell that she was still in there. But this afternoon, when I got back from work...... No bunnies. Elvbunny and the Bunnalettes have left the building. Or at least I hope that is what happened. I am hoping that she moved her kindle of bunnies down the road a bit, or at least into the neighbors undergrowth. And she had better stay out of my flowers. I may not want to kill a nest of baby bunnies 

But I have always wanted to try rabbit.  

1 comment:

  1. Sheesh, not fun with the bunny thing going on. Best that they are gone, wherever they went... Our Chucky dog found a nest of them the other morning when I had him out and he went nuts. It took everything I had to grab his collar and hold him back - in my nightgown and Birkenstock sandals, being drug through the brush by him - bad picture! At least four tiny bunnies escaped while I turned his attention to the house and breakfast. Now I am hobbling around with a cane, waiting for my knee to recover from the event! Damn bunnies!


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