Kale Chips

Otherwise known around here as Green Crack Chips.

A while ago a friend of mine, Heather K., mentioned on Facebook that she was eating Kale Chips.

Kale Chips?

Was that some new bagged chip, filled with fat and salt and other unmentionable additives that did you harm and not good?

No, she said, Kale Chips, like made from Kale leaves.

Ummmm, no thanks then I think my brain, and perhaps my fingers, replied. I am so not into Kale.

For you see, when I thought of Kale all I could think of was cooked Kale. Stuff that cooked forever and was bitter and gross. My Uncle Hank, T3’s dad, always eats Kale mixed with his mashed potatoes. I stopped dead in my tracks the first time I saw that.

And don’t get me wrong, I love my green veggies. Broccoli and I would run away together if I didn’t think I would miss HHBL too much. And lettuce and I are tight, real tight. Especially with tomato season fast approaching and the thought of BLTs.

And just as an aside, I really want to learn to smoke my own bacon. If Michael Ruhlman can do it then so can I!

OK, back to the Kale Chips.

But I kept hearing people expound about Kale Chips. Kale chips here, Kale chips there.

Fine!!! I will try them. I happened to be shopping at Wally Mart and they had loads of Kale and the stuff is disgustingly cheap so I bought some, came home, made the chips.

And my life was never be the same. The angels sang. I did a happy dance. And since I love all of you so much, and Bonnie and Larissa demand to know how to make them. And I never want to cross any of my Knit Sibs cuz we all play with really pointy sticks…..here is how you make them. This is so stinkin’ easy that it should be illegal. Thank goodness that it isn’t.

These are all the things that you need. I threw the salad spinner in the picture because it is an essential ingredient.

While you are admiring the greenness of the Kale walk over to the oven and preheat it to 300F.

Meet the main ingredient. And please ignore the open cabinet door. I didn’t realize it was in the background until later. Sigh.

Oh so beautiful and leafy and green. I can just feel the healthful properties.

OK, so I forgot to take a picture of the first two steps but they aren’t rocket science. Unless of course you work at Nasa.

You just remove the tough center stem from the kale leaves and throw the leaves, gently, into a sink full of cold water and give them a thorough swishing about. I said that last phrase in my best Nigella Lawson voice cuz I love her

Then you rip the leaves up into smaller, but not too small, pieces. They should be about half the size of the average hand. Or however big you want them. Remember that they are going to shrink down so you don’t want them too small.

Then you put them, in batches, into the salad spinner and spin the heck out of them. Give them their very own Tilt-a-Whirl ride. Only without all the dizziness and up chucking at the end.

When you have them spun very dry you…

Put all the leaves in a very large bowl and pour two tablespoons of very good olive oil, or not so good if that is what you have (cough, cough), over the leaves and mix it all around with your hands.

The good Lord gave you digits for a reason so use them. You really need to make sure that all the leaves have some oil on them and it is best don’t with your hands and the fingers that are attached to them to accomplish this. And your hands will be lovely and smooth afterwards.

Then spray baking sheets (I use 4) with a light spray of non-stick stuff and lay the leaves out in a single layer. If you crowd the leaves then they will more likely steam and not dry. Better to do more pans with single layers.

Sprinkle the leaves with Kosher salt. Also, you can add whatever other seasoning your little heart desires. Garlic powder, season salt, cayenne pepper. Whatever. Be bold. Be daring.

Then bake one pan at a time. Better drying control that way. If you have two ovens, like moi, use both of them but still only put one pan in at a time. Set the timer for 20 minutes and leave the leaves alone.

When the timer dings you check. The leaves may be slightly brown on the edges which is fine. They will make a rustling noise when you gently shake the baking sheet. Loosen any leaves that are stuck to the sheet and then let them cool down right on the sheet. They will crisp up even more as they dry 

Oh come to Momma.

These will keep, in an airtight container, for up to a week.

But they will not last that long. And if you have that much will power that they last longer than that.

Then there is something wrong with you.

 

Kale Chips