I had grand plans for my blog post today. We have put Chez Knit back on the market (please sell, please sell, please sell) and I was going to talk all about it.
And then, just as I was beginning to think about what I was going to say. And as I was working my way through the last of the cleaning chores. Max the Magnificent scared the living daylights out of me by barking at something. He was practically vibrating as he stood in front of the dining room windows.
What the heck is wrong with you!
I might have yelled that at him after I had calmed my heart down.
I don’t see anything out the…………
When Max started barking there was one lone Tom Turkey just standing in the middle of the cul de sac. Just standing.
And then there were two……
And finally there were three.
And they just stood there for awhile as if they were waiting for something. Wailing for…..
Tails up, tails down, tails up, tails down.
Wings up, wings down. Wings up, wings, down.
Shake the bird booty. Talk turkey smack. Look around.
And after I got back from quietly running into my office, tripping over the dog in the process, taking off the wide angle lens from the camera and putting on the telephoto lens, I noticed that there were a number of female turkeys that were wandering across the lawn.
They are boring to look at…….but not if you are a Tom Turkey.
Hey babeeeeeeee. What is a sweet little turkey like you doing here.
Come over here and check out my wattle.
Well HELLO Gorgeous! Ignore the other Toms, I am the bird for you!
Tom turkeys can be so idiotic. At least that seemed like the general consensus of the females who wandered off into the woods. Or in the case of the lone female that gave them any attention….
Turning around and walking off into the woods along the driveway.
Oh babeeeee. Boom chakalakalaka. Boom chakalakalaka. Boom chakala……
Hey Guys! She’s leavin’!! Hey babeeeee. Yoooo hooo. Hey Honey Feathers where ya goin’?
Hey wait up! What did we say??
She didn’t even give them a second glance. She just wandered off into the woods and went on about her business without another thought.
And the Toms stood there for a time all dejected and confused. Tail feathers slowly drooping.
And then Max barked at them and they skittered across the lawn and were gone. Off pursuing some other female with less discerning taste and a rapidly advancing biological clock. Eggs ripe for the picking.
Ummmm, never mind. Moving on.
And then, as I was going back into the kitchen to get back to the laundry, I noticed a speck of something on the floor that at first I took to be a piece of dirt or a piece of stick.
Not on my nice clean floor! I don’t think so! I bent down to pick it up and realized……
It was a slug.
How the heck a slug got into my house I will never know. He was laboriously trying to decide if he could heat my hardwood floor.
I don’t think so buddy. I was felling in a generous mood so I…..
Scooped him up with a piece of paper and transported him outside where he can eat my basil in peace.
OK. I didn’t kill him on the spot because I didn’t want to have to clean up slimy slug guts from my floor.
But if I find him on my basil then he is a gonner. The Croc of Death will reap retribution on his slimy little butt.
Do slugs have butts?
Sorry, I said butt.