Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

This comes from my mother. Consider it your humor for the day

Why did the chicken cross the road?

1. BARACK OBAMA: The Chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
   
2. JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the Chickens on the other side of the road.
3. Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken is this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
4. GEORGE W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
5. DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
6. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
7. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?
8. AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
9. JOHN KERRY: ALthough I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
10. AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
11. ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
12. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he is GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
13. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American
14. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
15. DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
16. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: to die in the rain, alone
17. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chiken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
18. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream.
19. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road
20. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
21. BILL GATES: I have just release eChicken2008, which will not only corss roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra....*&!*&*!^^^**(@&......reboot.
22. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
23. COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?