Wednesday, August 13, 2014

POP! There Goes My Brain

Has my head exploded yet?

Can you see any brain matter?

Should I get some papertowels?

Now that is an existential question.....why would I need papertowels to clean up brain matter if it was MY brain that had exploded. And I would know what brain matter looks like if my head did explode and I had to clean it up. I have assisted in neruosurgery before, once, as a nursing student and the neurosurgeon looked at me, asked me if I wanted to do something "fun" and then handed me the suction canula so that I could remove some brain tissue and part of a tumor. What do you say in that situation but, "SURE!" And when you look up and realize your nursing instructor is looking through the window just as you are sucking out brain matter you figure your nursing career is done.

I was young and stupid then.....but I got an A in the class thankyouverymuch. The instructor appreciated initiative.

Did I digress?

I can hear the clock ticking. It ticks for thee, Deb. Monday is the day when I sit in Y's chair and try to fill her shoes.

POP! There goes my brain.

Thnking of happy puppies and cute kittens so that the pain behind my eyes goes away. So much to learn and so much to remember. And so many files to go through.

I do love a challenge, I really do. But it is a daunting prospect to fill the shoes of someone who has been doing this particular job for a long time. It is daunting on a number of fronts. Remember......

I have a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I like blood and injections and all that stuff. Nowhere did that long ago training prepare me for doing things like doing payroll and taxes. And it isn't as if I haven't actually done AP and AR and taxes and payroll before, when I have previously worked for HHBL. It is just that those happen to be the things that wake me up at night by whispering in my brain that somehow I will screw them up. It is those little voices in the back of your brain that are a real bitch sometimes.

Oops, bad word alert.

Thank goodness I actually KNOW what AP and AR stand for. The very first time that I worked for HHBL, when I was pregnant with Shoe Queen, he assumed that I had more accounting knowlege than I actually had.

That would be no knowlege of that subject whatsoever. Math is an evil construction of the devil sent to make me weep. The poor man had to explain that Accounts Payable meant that we had to give someone else money and Accounts Receivable meant that someone had to give us money. I can tell you the names of the Japanese aircraft carriers that were sunk at the Battle of Midway but I didn't know this little piece of information.

Sad, just sad.

I know that once I am in the office and the job is mine and I have a month under my belt that I will feel better. Y and I do things differently. That is in no way a disparaging comment on the way that she does her job. She is pleasant, efficient, knowledgeable. Very, very knowledgeable. I just know that I will do things a bit differently. But I am trying my valiant best to be like a sponge and soak it all up.

Just so long as I don't look like a sponge all will be good.

Although I may be well on my way to that fabulous shape if I don't stop buying bread from the West Side Market as well as fritters.



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