I guess that there are things in my refrigerator that need to be cleaned out.
I hang my head in shame. I really do.
I did recently clean out the main refrigerator because, you know, the house is on the market and I didn’t want some unsuspecting person to be viewing my house, to open the refrigerator and to run screaming back out to their car, calling their therapist on the way. It could happen you know. Believe me, if you had seen some of the stuff in the back of the frig you would be calling your therapist too.
I didn’t take pictures of that stuff because, well, there is sometimes a limit to the abuse and shame that I want to heap upon myself. I know that is hard to believe after reading about my African dancing skills or when ridiculousness comes to visit.
But I guess it is time to clean out some things in the refrigerator in the garage. When you come upon a container, an unopened but top bulging slightly container, of cream cheese with a sell by date of this….
Then it is time to do some cleaning. I put the picture in a photo frame that is like one of those old Kodak instant polaroids because it is just about as ancient. I was too scared to actually open the container as the top was slightly bulging.
It sort of reminded me of the can of sauerkraut that I found in the back of my Grandmother Amsler’s cupboard one time when I was looking for something else.
I felt fear for the first time.
The can was bulging and I mean REALLY bulging on top AND bottom. It was canted sideways like a ship run aground. It wasn’t good.
And there was leakage. We would have called the bomb squad if this hadn’t been rural Dousman, Wisconsin where the only thing that you hear on a regular basis was the wind whipping through the corn growing in the field on the other side of the road.
I carefully, and I do mean carefully, picked that sucker up and walked it outside. Oh for a hazmat suit. I didn’t want to giggle that thing all that much because I was sure it was going to go off any second.
I walked carefully over to the woods and, for the first time in my life, threw something straight and true and as far from me as I could. We didn’t think that it would be a good idea to put the thing in the garbage. If it went off in there we might kill the garbage man with the fumes.
The can went up, up, up and away, away, away into the undergrowth.
And then there was that sound, like a controlled explosion. Whew.
Wow, I really rabbit trailed there. Sorry for the diversionary story but I really just don’t want to go and clean the frig.
You never know what might lurk in the vegetable drawer.